Hooray for having time away! Graeme and I just got back from a three-week holiday in New Zealand and let me tell you, it was such an incredible time to reconnect with family and friends after so much time apart, something even words can’t quite capture. With this kind of time away you can imagine I didn’t want to come back. Yet, I knew I had to come back from the “dream world” and live the life I know I can live here, inspired by this “dream world”.
I have mentioned this a couple of times in previous posts, but the time that I got to spend in New Zealand transformed me. All those years ago that I lived there, that shift in me is still ever-present. While I was away I was hoping to disappear from work a bit; 2013 what a bit overwhelming at times, but I held my own and got through it with my head held high. I should have known better though, that the reality of what I do would follow me 10,000 miles away. A lot happened while I was away and though I may not know how good or bad all the changes are going to be for 2014, I have a renewed sense of confidence that I can take it on no matter what it is, along with having a better sense of balance. No one is going to look out for me in this crazy work world but me and I have to remember that it is ok to make myself and the relationships around me the priority they deserve to be versus the workload I can so easily take on.
During the three weeks away Graeme and I discussed a lot of our dreams and hopes for the future, along with the realities that is going to take to get there. The reality for us is that our dreams are pretty attainable with a lot of hard work, determination, faith, and a bit of good coffee; this gives me hope.
Along this journey of the last five years or so, I feel as though I have lost a bit of myself and that makes me terribly sad. I have let fear rule my choices and that is entirely wrong and wasteful on my part. Every time I go back to New Zealand I am reminded of who I am and how at one point in my life I chose to live without fear and with a deep, pure, devoted trust in God. That whatever my choices were they were mine and that with each door I chose to talk through it would lead me through to another door/opportunity/adventure.
I get a bit discouraged that I stopped living this way, but each and every day is new and thank goodness for that!
Today, this week, marks a shift in Grae’s and my present life. Away from the “dream world” and into our own “real world”, because the reality is that the two can be combined; it most certainly won’t happen over night, but in time both worlds are bound to collide.