Lately I have been having this notion that my life has been a bit colorless lately. It’s not that I don’t have things going on that make my world not colorful, because after the start to this year and the few blogs I have already shared, it sure has been a “colorful” start to the year.
I think ultimately what I am gauging at is, inside. To the outside world I am doing my best to exude colors, but on the inside I feel rather grey. Maybe it has to do with work and the growing discouragement I feel mounting there. Or maybe it has to deal with my recent isolated life that I am having to live out right now. I am seeking God with all that I have and pouring everything that I am before Him. Sharing my fears and my unbelief. It is my unbelief that I hate revealing before God…ie…”are you truly going to come through like you have promised you would?” But who I am to even ask such a thing? But like I said, above most things this is the one topic that I try and “hide” from God because of the true foolishness behind the whole concept.
Regardless of it all…this is my journey (hence the title of the blog:)) be it grey, magenta, aqua, black, yellow…this is it and maybe this section of the journey is all about the cultivation of a new kind of color.